In this instance, your fear was justified and helped to preserve your life and health. That is what fear is for. It is when you become immobilized by fear that things get tricky.
Inaction is the best friend of fear, and they love to work together to keep you from moving forward. You have done new and scary things your entire life, from taking your first steps to rebelling against your parents, even getting married!
The fears that you have overcome have defined who you are as a person, and those that you allow to rule your life do the same. People have the ability to strap themselves into a harness and jump off a bridge with just a single rope attaching them because they understand exactly what will happen, when it will happen, and what safety measures are in place to protect them from damage. They have researched and weighed various factors, and have decided that the potential outcome is worth the risk.
Those people we see who seem to have it all together as they seamlessly navigate divorce with no second thoughts have a secret. They have struggled with the same emotions that you have, but they have decided that they are worth more or their life can be more that it is in their current situation. So how have they gotten to this point of quiet confidence? They have most likely reached out to an expert to explain the process and help them understand what divorce can mean for them, their finances, their family, and their future.
A family lawyer does more than assist you with filing paperwork. Reaching out to a lawyer when you are considering divorce can help you to understand what life could be like outside of the restraints of your marriage. Many divorce lawyers work to expose the unknown so you can be confident you are making the right choice for you and your family, regardless of whether that means you will be pursuing divorce or not.
A divorce lawyer can fully explain all the options available to you, recommend counselors, answer all of your questions, and address any concerns you may have about the divorce process, child custody and support, or any other aspect of your life post-divorce. Speak to an experienced divorce lawyer who can help you understand your situation, and get a full analysis before you do anything.
You just may find that — with some concerted efforts, or a few sessions of marriage counseling — you could already be living your best life. If your partner is unwilling to go, no problem. Seeking therapy on your own could help you restore your perspective, your peace, and a healthy version of your former autonomous self. But sometimes the unhappiness attributed to the marriage actually comes from other areas of life, such as:.
In order to give your marriage a fair shake, you might consider how other things may factor in and whether the marriage itself is really the sole issue. Finding your way through the pain of an unhappy marriage rather than divorcing, seeking professional help, and relearning how to create your own happiness may even help you and your partner find your way back to each other.
So, if you have chosen to look for ways to stay together and live within your unhappy marriage, take heart. If you work at it, what you find on the other side of the pain could be a stronger you and possibly a renewed relationship.
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A podcast episode covering the menstrual cycle, stigma, and how it relates to mental health. But sometimes change ends up being the best thing that ever happened. Again, the purpose of this article is not to encourage anyone to get divorced. Trust me, I am a huge fan of marriage, IF both people are happy. Staying in an unhappy marriage is a choice. But, leaving things status quo could possibly be the worst choice of all.
Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to get weekly articles on divorce and dating. How Does Mediation Work? A Step-by-Step Process. Going Through a Divorce? Names You Need and Why. Guess What? Marriage and Second Marriage Advice. Divorced Girl Smiling is here to empower, connect and inspire you. A former television journalist and newspaper features reporter, Pilossoph is also the author of four novels and the writer of her weekly relationship column, Love Essentially.
Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism and lives in Chicago with her two teenagers. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. Staying in an unhappy marriage sucks I did it for 28 yrs til I was surprised with a divorce I was always alone when married ,so being alone now, post divorce is not difficult. Financially, I wish I was still in the marriage.
Being independent is my positive now. Your email address will not be published.
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